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I said I’d move on and I’d leave it alone,
But before I walk out there is something that I need you to know.
I got lost in a blink of an eye,
And I can never get back, no I’ve never got back…
You were not there when I wanted to say,
That you were everything right and it wasn’t you but me that changed,
Now I got to go it alone,
But I’ll never give up, no I’ll never give up
What am I fighting for,
There must be something more…
For all these words I sing,
Do you feel anything?
I said I’m ok but I know how to lie,
You were all that I had,
You were delicate and hard to find.
I got lost in the back of my mind,
And I can never get back, no I never got back…
You were not there when I needed to say,
I hit the bottom so fast that my head was spinning ‘round for days,
Now I gotta go it alone,
But I will never give up, no I’ll never give up
What am I fighting for,
There must be something more,
For all these words I sing,
Do you feel anything
What am I fighting for,
What am I fighting for
Never give up on this
Said I’m ok but I know how to lie,
But I will never give up, no I’ll never give up
What am I fighting for,
There must be something more,
For all these words I sing,
Do you feel anything
What am I fighting for (No I’m never gonna give up, give up)
What am I fighting for (No I’m never gonna give up, give up)
Said that I’d fight for the one that I’ve found,
I’m gonna stay here while I wait for you to come around,
I fight you’re a part of me now,
And I will never give up, no I’ll never give up -
In other news, I have the BEST friends ever. I haven’t had a job since last summer due to having to go back to Champaign for my senior year, so I haven’t had much money in forever. Now, my phone has sucked for quite a long time and I wanted an iPhone sooo bad. My friends knew this and knew that I was broke so what do they do? They buy me one. After we finished playing basketball at Depaul (I had a horrible shooting night …ugh) they all gathered around me and said, “Wait Joe, we have a surprise for you.”
Then, they proceeded to hand me an envelope full of money. Just enough to cover the cost of the iPhone 5. :) I’m a pretty strong guy but even I almost lost it. I gave them all hugs and just was in the best mood ever.If that didn’t make my week, one of the companies that I sent my resume to called me back and wants to meet next week Thursday. So it really has been a great week! Other than the scare I put myself into today, life has been great. Thank God.
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It’s only been two weeks since I left Champaign and I’m already back. Don’t think I’ll ever be able to permanently say goodbye.
Today was … eventful, stressful, fun, interesting, and scary. I won’t go into details over what crisis got me afraid but … God help us.At this point, can’t keep stressing about something I have no control over. I hope that I didn’t just make a huge mistake. One that could change the course of my life completely.
In other news, went into full Ted Mosby mode today and made a pros/cons list to decide something very important to me. The cons are winning. And I hate that. :(
Oh well. Just gonna do my best to enjoy this weekend in Champaign and be happy about the memories I’ve made.
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I’m so cool, too bad I’m a loser…
I’m so smart, too bad I can’t get anything figured out!
I’m so brave, too bad I’m a baby…
I’m so fly, that’s probably why it feels just like I’m falling for the first timeI’m so green, it’s really amazing…
I’m so clean, too bad I can’t get all the dirt off of me!
I’m so sane, it’s driving me crazy
It’s so strange, I can’t believe it feels just like I’m falling for the first timeAnyone perfect must be lying, anything easy has its cost…
Anyone plain can be lovely, anyone loved can be lost.
What if I lost my direction? What if I lost sense of time?
What if I nursed this infection? Maybe the worst is behind?
It feels just like I’m falling for the first time -
"Look, obviously you can’t tell a woman you just met you love her, but it sucks that you can’t. I’ll tell you something though, if a woman, not you, just some hypothetical woman, were to bare with me through all of this, I think I’d make a damn good husband because that’s the stuff I’d be good at; stuff like making her laugh and being a good father…and being a good kisser."
- Ted Mosby (via awellroundedman) -
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(Source: little-spooky)
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Haven’t been on here in forever.
Seems like every time that’s the case, I start off my posts by saying that. Usually, what ends up happening is I come on here, say what I have to say, feel better, and then forget about the fact that I have a blog at all. Hopefully, that won’t be the case this time.Being home has been a real blast. I’ve missed hanging out with my friends on a consistent basis. Don’t get me wrong, I have a lot of friends in Champaign as well but I just missed everyone and everything about Chicago. However, after having experienced what suburban life is like, I gotta admit, it’s really nice. Everybody has really large driveways, streets look calm and peaceful, the homes are enormous; it just feels way more calm than city life. So, we’ll see what I end up deciding in the future.
Can’t believe it’s been over a week already since I graduated from college. Honestly, I still don’t even think it’s hit me yet. If it has, then my reaction certainly wasn’t what I thought it’d be. Four years of busting my ass, studying for exams, homework, attending ridiculously large lectures … can’t believe that’s all over now. All of the coffee I drank, all of the tables I occupied at the UGL, all the nights of panic wondering if I’d do well on the exam … all of that is over…or is it? Who knows what the future has in store for me. I always said I wanted to be a doctor. My mom still has this thing I made in kindergarten that has a picture of me and a list of answers to questions I was asked. Those questions were:
-What’s your favorite food? Sausage and pepperoni pizza
-What’s your favorite movie? Toy Story
-What do you want to be when you grow up? A doctor.Is that still my favorite food? Maybe not my favorite but sausage and pepperoni pizza is still absolutely delicious. Is Toy Story still my favorite movie? I’m going to have to say that The Dark Knight has taken that title now but I can tell ya this: If you sit me down and make me watch Toy Story, I’ll enjoy the hell out of it and yes, probably still cry. Hell, I cried during Toy Story 3 so clearly, I’m not immune to that kinda reaction. :P
And finally, do I still want to be a doctor? YES. But, do I want to engage in that sort of commitment where I have to put family, friends, and a social life in the rear view mirror? Do I want to put myself in that much more debt? Would I be better off doing something else I love like working in a lab, conducting research on diseases that continue to go untreated and helping humanity in that sense? I don’t know the answers to those questions. Ultimately, I’ve always wanted to just contribute to society and do something with science that would leave me financially secure as well. We’ll see.Anyway, this post is getting really lengthy so I’ll just end it here. Still have several thoughts to write about …such as a special someone who is now in my life, how complicated the situation is, etc. But, there’s plenty of time to write about that. Maybe later today? Again, we’ll see.
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I don’t care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice
When I’m not around
You’re so fucking special
I wish I was special
But I’m a creep, I’m a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don’t belong here
awellroundedman
concreteaven
runandbehappy
notwaitingforever
